Restore to you…peace (Oh, Bother)

Restore to You…. Peace (Oh Bother)

“Oh Bother” was the resounding words of Winnie the Pooh in the Hundred Acre Wood as he happened upon struggles. Perhaps it was his gentle response that little concern was directed towards this adorable bear. Perhaps it seemed there was no problem that a good pot of honey could not fix. However, I think there was a missed opportunity. While Eeyore grabs the heart of every counselor and therapist out there because of his outward sadness and deflated sense of self-worth that was evident and therefor readily accessible for intervention, Winnie the Pooh was found with his head stuck in the proverbial pot. I wonder what it would look like, though, if we pulled up a tree stump and spent some time with Winnie the Pooh and allowed space for him to unravel the “bother.”

We are living in a time of uncertainty and heightened anxiety. I have seen a tremendous increase in the number of individuals both young and old being diagnosed with some type of anxiety disorder and I wonder how we got to this point. The rub comes with the reality that society’s empathy and understanding have not simultaneously increased with these diagnostic numbers, and I see more and more people preferring to claim a non-threatening response of “Oh Bother” rather than unveiling the true pain of living with anxiety.

While I want to believe that society means well, we start with telling young children to stop crying, throwing a fit, put on their big people pants, etc. In the Christian culture, we pull on the scripture that says to, “be anxious for nothing but pray.” As a parent and a Christian, I have spoken and claimed all those words with the truth those nuggets proclaimed to provide. The problem comes in the idea that somehow mind over matter is indeed infallible and we can just speak anxiety into its proper place. I believe that there is an ability to train our mind to get to a place where we can deal with issues, trauma, grief, pain and all those other “bothersome” life events that can vie for our emotional bandwidth but in a moment of sheer, true to the core anxiety, we need a lifeline.

If my husband wants to stir the untamed monster in me, then he dares utter the words, “calm down.” Does he not realize that if I could just calm down then I would have chosen that path? Who would choose to jump from a plane without a parachute? Aside from a thrill seeker, most people dread anxiety and the feelings that come as a result of this experience. I believe that anxiety can produce a physiological reaction to a psychological response. From heat across your shoulders, nausea, sleeplessness, fatigue, appetite change and other physical symptoms, those who struggle with anxiety can find their physical body in as much turmoil as their mind. So how do we provide a space to restore peace in the reality of anxiety?

I believe we, as individuals, must RECOGNIZE that anxiety is real and the emotions and physical manifestations that start it, come from it or entertain it are worthy of recognition. If we do not recognize them, then it is difficult to have others respect the significance of this invisible pain. We also must give support and freedom to those who cannot RECOGNIZE the anxiety on their own, to seek help and counseling to unpack this and find renewed peace. When I say RECOGNIIZE, that does not mean that you must self-diagnose or have all the vocabulary to explain and identify this unknown companion that has become part of your life. To RECOGNIZE is to know yourself well enough that you can say, “I do not feel well or I do not like how I am feeling or I do not feel like the people around me or I am scared or I feel nauseous every time I listen to the news.” Regardless of how small or large this experience is in your life; it is your story and you deserve to know how to navigate it so that you can restore peace in your life.

I am not saying that you have to get rid of the honey pot in your life if that helps to self-soothe some of these rough spots, but what I am saying is that there is more in life than honey and if you want it, then allow yourself the grace to say you deserve it and find a friend or professional that can walk beside you in love and support to a place of restoration.

Steps to the lifeline:

Breathe – Literally focus on this important act and make yourself slowly and methodically take in and blow out air in a gentle, non-hyperventilating manner. Make yourself stand up, walk, move your arms around while you focus on breathing.

Distract – Change your environment in the immediate, pending or ongoing anxiety event. Let your mind focus on something new and pleasing. Go for a walk, drive to look at something new, take a bath, listen to relaxing music, call a friend, exercise (great way to refocus and engage many parts of your body).

Acknowledge – Recognize and acknowledge that something is stirring up your anxiety. Be mindful of what is going on at the time you recognize these feelings and physical changes in your body. JOURNAL all the feels, environmental circumstances, conversations, thoughts, etc. that are part of this event. Integrate your faith into this step - read scripture, pray, meditate and allow that to be part of your journal notation.

Debrief – Once you have come through an anxiety event or at a place in an ongoing journey with it, then allow yourself to look at your journal and think about some of the steps you may have taken above and evaluate if any of it brought support to you as you wanted or needed. If it did then make that a resource for the future. If not, then talk with a friend or therapist to create a new list of possibilities until you find the perfect path to a faster landing at peace.

Believing that you are worthy of knowing there is no shame or need for guilt because you have history with anxiety. Instead know that you are able to restore to you the peace you desire.

In the journey, Terry